This is about the fear of eating at a restaurant. I mean, how down-to-earth can it be? But fear often operates in crazy subtle ways. Listen in for how.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Lars!
I am a life coach myself and was really glad to have discovered your videocast on iTunes. Thanks for putting it out!
The first episode I clicked on was about overcoming small fears. I do not agree that we in Europe never go out to grab a bite. I just did yesterday (and a day before but that was a little extra for myself), all by myself and went home just as you said we don’t do in Europe.
I love doing that and sometimes bring a book or read a magazine at my favourite place. I do live in Europe (Sweden as it happens) and also lived in Holland and Belgium where going out for a bite is even more usual than here. It seems to me you give a cultural explanation to rationalise your personal experience and when it happens and we are not even aware of it a person can go on for eight years thinking, “WE are like this”. If one also get a picture of this experience being out of the extraordinary, it can intensify that person’s fears. I would therefore have started not with the rational pros and cons solution (this is already at the stage when you actually decided to go out) but earlier by paying more attention to the people who do the stuff I want to do (like going out for a bite).
Secondly, I agree that small fears have to be overcome. We have to expose ourselves to those uncomfortable situations and bear with it – this is part of our human experience and emotions like fear play a very important role in our evolution and can serve us even today (when they don’t get transformed into anxiety
).
Knowing those fears are mental constructs (most of the time!) it is easier to deal with them, just as you did, rationally. I ask my clients to do a similar thing and answer the question, “What do I say yes to if I do it?”. I also ask the person WHY they want to do it in the first place. The moment they find the motivation and mention it, it becomes more attractive and they are more willing to “endure” the discomfort the first exposure can bring. Further on, some NLP exercises can be done in order to make the first “exposure” less painful (like the swish).
Thank you for your work and sharing it with others!
I will make sure to have a look around and check more podcasts you offer! I find your site to be very user-friendly.
Irina Almgren
http://www.irinaalmgren.com
I believe small fears are just mental obstacles created in our minds to stop us from reaching our goals. I agree that we should strive to overcome them. Great video!